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25January

How to deal with feeling Stuck

Written by Vega Sims Posted in Mental Illness, Careers

How to deal with feeling Stuck

Feeling like you’re stuck is definitely not a unique problem, whether you’ve grown up with very little or come from a middle class working family, many people get to a point where they feel stuck in a situation and can’t see a way out. Learning how to deal with the feeling of being stuck is perhaps one of life’s most important lessons because if you know how to deal with this, no matter at what point in your life, you’ll be able to get “un-stuck”.

The feeling of being stuck is just that, a feeling, a mindset and an attitude. Even though you think there is no way out, there definitely is a way out. You just have to change your perspective, your approach to the situation and your behaviour.

One of my favourite movies to watch when I’m feeling stuck is “The Pursuit of happyness” with Will Smith. To me this demonstrates no matter how desperate the situation might seem, if you have the will, you can change your life.

You might ask how you can do this because you have no money or you’ve been abused or you have a criminal record. Well the most important thing is to NEVER EVER give up. If someone tells you that you can’t do something, look for an alternative or a different route to get to where you’d like to be.

Audrey Hepburn, a famous actress from the 50s and 60s said something very true, “Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm.” To me this is really important because I used to sit around and wait for someone to come and save me, but this just made me feel more powerless and stuck. In fact, the only person who can help you, is you.

Since I stopped thinking this way, I very rarely feel stuck or desperate and when the feeling does come up I immediately take a step back and make the decision not to be beaten down. Once I’ve made the decision it’s easier to come up with a way around the obstacle.

If I don’t know how to overcome something I accept that it’s my problem and my responsibility to solve. Usually I would do research online, talk to people, ask for advice and come up with an answer. The important bit is to accept the responsibility of coming up with an answer to your own problem, whatever it may be.

I know this is easier said than done, but if you really want to move forward and build a great life you will have to change your attitude; stop waiting for things to change and start changing it yourself.

If you want a job, get out in the world and talk to people, meet new people, send out your CV, visit companies and be proactive. Finding  work is a full time job, so if you’re not spending at least 8 hours a day proactively doing different things to get yourself a job, then you’re not trying hard enough. This might sound harsh, but it’s true. Life doesn’t owe you anything, if you want something it’s up to you to make it happen. It might take a week, a month or a few years, but you can change your life if you really want to. Just put the time, determination and effort in to do so.

Another option that you might want to consider is to start a small business by delivering some sort of service or selling products on a small scale, perhaps at your local market etc. This could be an option, especially if you’ve got a criminal record. Please just keep your business activity legal, crime is not going to solve your problems.

If you need to talk to someone about your options, you can contact our MGN team and we’ll try our very best to assist.

About the Author

Vega Sims

Vega Sims

Vega is TCHC and this programme's  Marketing Manager. She looks after the website, creates all the graphics and writes for the advice blog.

She's got a Marketing and Communications post graduate degree from the University of Pretoria with extensive amount of marketing experience, she owned a business and sings in a rock band.

Favourite quote: "...even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from here." ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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