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14May

Overcoming low self-esteem (Confidence building)

Written by Paula Charalambous Posted in Beat bullying

In my experience I would say low self-esteem is the number one factor preventing people of all ages from moving forward in work, education and most of everything we face in our daily life!

Low self esteem mostly stems from school, and bullying seems to be the word I hear again and again and again.This ugly word causes more problems in later life than most!

For example:

Simon* had been bullied so bad at school he had to leave and was then taught from home, he did ok at home but did not have friends and hardly ever went out, he became closed and although he wanted to do more and experience life outside his home he began to drift further into himself, it was the first steps of building his self esteem that he needed to achieve before he could move move forward.

 He had a Youth Worker who took him out in the car to get him use to stuff, like the cinema, a cafe and even a queue in a shop; this is and was quite extreme, but true!

His Youth Worker heard of the Youth Contract and so gave me a call, I talked to Simon* and he wanted to engage and especially get a job in IT and make friends.

Our first My Future course was running in his home town in the next few weeks and I thought this short 6 week course would be great for his self esteem, I talked him into coming to the course and went with him on the bus, we took it one step at a time, so half days to start.

He was nervous but wanted to join this new training group, he was with 5 others and it was so good, the Tutor was so accommodating, non judge mental and made all feel welcome and at ease, Simon* really liked it and at first was unsure but with the other young people all wanting the same outcome it was a success.

Simon’s* mum rang me on the second day and said he had asked her to buy him a lunch box because he was coming back and staying all day. Success!

Talking to him afterwards once the course had finished he said it had been the turning point that he had needed, he was happy to now make his own way, actually enjoyed the bus journey and had made some good friends.

He had logged onto apprenticeship.org and is regularly applying for work. All of this from building up his self esteem.

This is so common of taking those first steps, and once done with the right support you’ve done it!

So never think you’re alone and never put off what you want because of self esteem, go for it and you will be surprised, we all need help and asking is often the first sign of achieving.

My Future is available in Hertfordshire, Essex, Norfolk and Suffolk and if eligible so is the My Mentor programme. Go on pick up the phone, if you are a bit nervous text us and someone will get back to you.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of our learner.

About the Author

Paula Charalambous

Paula Charalambous

Paula Charalambous is a personal adviser for TCHC. She has worked with young people aged 13-18 for over 15 years. She started off as a youth worker helping young people to set up their own youth clubs and supporting them in their communities.

She has worked for over 10 years in Education as lead Pastoral Carer, helping excluded pupils, offenders and young people with behavioural issues achieve.

She is known for her great behaviour management skills, her ability to work with all young people in a non-judgemental way and being dedicated to helping them to achieve their goals.

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